We Care: Caregiver Gives Back With Endowment
“You have two hands. One to help yourself, and one to help others”
— Audrey Hepburn
Caring comes naturally to Julia S. of Oregon. Filled with love and dedication, she cared for her husband of 30 years, Richard, for years before his doctors diagnosed him with frontotemporal dementia. Through it all, she gave of herself — gracefully and wholeheartedly. Today, she continues to give back to Road Scholar in gratitude for the kindness and support she received when she needed it most.
Julia S.
The couple met at the University of California, Los Angeles, where Richard worked in engineering administration and Julia worked in the School of Engineering’s student affairs office. They soon moved to Oregon, where he was recruited by a neuroscience institute at Oregon Health & Science University. Julia and Richard shared a love of travel and exploration — from small towns rich in traditional cultures to ancient ruins. Even after Richard became ill, they continued traveling until it became too challenging.
After caring for Richard for many years, including driving him to appointments and helping him with organization and time management, Julia and Richard decided together that he would benefit from living in an assisted living community. Julia searched for one that offered Richard a robust roster of engaging activities. He moved into his new apartment in January 2019.
A Beacon of Light
While attending an Alzheimer’s conference in November 2019, Julia heard about the Road Scholar’s Caregiver Grant and immediately decided to apply. “It was a beacon of light,” says Julia. Feeling depressed, with little to look forward to, Julia started perusing the Road Scholar website and catalog in search of a program that would allow her to experience new adventures. Walking and Hiking in Québec City caught her eye.
Receiving the Caregiver Grant gave Julia the recognition and validation she needed. “It felt like someone was caring for me, acknowledging that what I was going through was really hard and giving me the TLC I needed,” she says.
Planning for her February 2020 adventure in Québec gave Julia something positive to look forward to. “The possibility of being able to explore a new place and participate in activities I’d never dreamt of doing, like dog sledding and visiting an ice hotel, would be incredible,” she says. She hadn’t traveled on her own, except for work, in decades. “Attending a Road Scholar program would jump-start my reentering the world of solo travel in a supportive manner,” she says.
Participants walking in Québec, Canada
“I studied anthropology in college and have always found traveling to be the most profound experience,” says Julia. She thought about the program and how it would permit her to get away from constantly thinking about what Richard needed.
“I had to face the facts,” she says. “Although Rich was still alive, I had lost my partner, the person I’ve relied on for the past 30 years,” she says. “Instead of anticipating and planning a future of shared experience, I’m looking at a vortex of loss from this sometimes very long and drawn-out disease.”
Remembering her late father’s message to himself when he lost his own wife, she told herself, “Life is for the living,” and even though she had lost her favorite traveling companion, she needed to learn how to carry on by herself, even as she continued to love and care for Richard. “One of the most significant challenges I faced was creating an independent life that balanced supporting my husband with my own needs to live the last third of my life with purpose,” she says.
Empowered and Thankful
“I was grateful to be able to focus on my travel companions as well as the beauty and vibrancy of the world. When you’re a caregiver for a family member, it’s so depressing,” says Julia. “You can feel like the world is caving in on you.”
Road Scholar’s Caregiver Grant reminded Julia that she is a person and has her own life. “I am not simply a caregiver,” says Julia. “It’s a perspective adjustment — being a person apart from being a caregiver.”
“It was empowering for me to travel on my own,” she says. While Julia enjoyed the company of fellow participants, she also felt good about navigating to places on her own as well.
Returning home, she felt relief from her caregiver fatigue and was better able to care for Richard. She vowed to return the gift she had received by making a donation to the Road Scholar Caregiver Grant program.
Train ride in Switzerland
Caring for Others
After Richard passed away in October 2020, she established the Richard A. Session Caregiver Grant Fund in his memory. “The Caregiver Grant I received meant so much to me,” says Julia. “I wanted to give another caregiver something to look forward to.
“I’m a touchy-feely person, and this is my way of hugging another caregiver,” says Julia. “I feel incredibly grateful that I’m able to do this. I hope that Caregiver Grant recipients will feel that their caring for loved ones is honored and that they return from their respite feeling rejuvenated.”
Establishing a grant in Richard’s name was Julia’s way of honoring her husband’s love for travel and his interest in exploring new things. “Richard was my best travel buddy,” she says. “It’s also a way for me to express my gratitude.”
Julia and Richard felt that traveling gave them a broader world perspective. “No matter where you travel, you can’t help but be educated and have your perspective changed. Traveling highlights both of our values and is essential to being a citizen in today’s world,” she says.
Julia has continued exploring the world with Road Scholar, experiencing Switzerland by rail and snorkeling in Fiji. Along the way, she’s met dear friends with whom she stays connected. She is looking forward to experiencing Alsace-Lorraine’s beauty, customs and cuisine on a river barge next year with Road Scholar.
In this magical season of thanks and giving, Julia hopes her story will inspire someone else to apply for or fund a Caregiver Grant. “That would be wonderful!” she says.
If you or someone you know would benefit from the rejuvenation that a Road Scholar Caregiver Grant offers, we invite you to learn more about our Caregiver Grants. If you would like to donate or endow a Named Caregiver Grant Fund, please visit our website or call us at (877) 737-0664.